Reverse Culture Shock

So, we have been back in the U.S. for about two weeks now. I would say between the jet lag, the pregnancy hormones, and the culture shock, we are during pretty well. People keep asking us what it’s like to be back. My response is usually that I haven’t really wrapped my mind around it yet or that I am full of mixed emotions. Of course it is nice to be back “home” and surrounded by friends and family that we didn’t see for almost a year. It is refreshing to once again have some of the conveniences that we had learned to live without. However, it is hard for people to understand how much we miss our friends and “family” from Kenya as well. Unless of course they too have spent an extended period of time overseas. If we learned one thing from our experience, it’s that the life of a missionary is both extremely difficult and unexplainably rewarding. 

Jeff saying goodbye to some of the kids.

Dinner with my family.

I love the quote from Miriam Adeney that says, “You will never be completely at home again, because part of your heart always will be elsewhere. That is the price you pay for the richness of loving and knowing people in more than one place.” As we were leaving the Baby Centre and saying our goodbyes to the people who had become our family, a very special 2 year old girl who has said more than her fair share of goodbyes in her short life, broke down in tears when she realized we were leaving. She was asking, “Mommy, why?” and saying, “Shasha, Geffy, mine!” It was very emotional for all of us. Just a few short days later, when seeing another very special little girl for the first time in almost a year, my sweet 3 year old cousin says this, “I missed you Tata. When I was at school last night, I was telling God that I was wanting you to come back from Africa. I didn’t know how many days it would be. You were there a long time, Tata.” What an emotional roller coaster we are on.

When we first moved to Kenya, we shared some of the culture shock that we went through in those first weeks. I can tell you, reverse culture shock, what happens when you move back to your original culture, is very real! I will share some of the things that have been the most hard to get used to again, here in our very own culture. Please know that I am not complaining about either culture, because I love both very much, but there are obviously some big differences between the two.

• Choices, Choices, and More Choices! I feel like I am constantly having to make choices here. Mostly small, insignificant choices, but for those of you who know me, I can be very indecisive and get stressed about the smallest of decisions to be made. Whether it is trying to choose from the thousands of restaurants in Knoxville or choosing a box of cereal at the grocery store, this is a little overwhelming after getting so used to going to Java House for every meal that we ate out or choosing from the handful of familiar cereal boxes. I have to admit, it has been very nice to eat at all of my favorite restaurants again!

Cereal aisle at Walmart.

Food Court at the mall.

• Customer Service… For the most part, people in Kenya are super friendly and go out of their way to help you and make you happy. We always got the best service at restaurants, hotels, stores, etc. Since getting back, I have had to stop myself more than once from getting upset about people being rude or just acting like they really didn’t care about what we needed. 

• I can use tap water? We had gotten so used to filtering our water, washing our fruits and veggies in bleach water and then filtered water, brushing our teeth with bottled water, and closing our mouths in the shower. It still amazes me that I can turn on the sink and get clean enough water to do all of these things, and even drink it if I want! We take this for granted here, as it is not the case in much of the world. 

• Driving again! It is so nice to have our own car and be driving again! We expected to be a little rusty, but actually it all came back to us so quickly. I did have a “moment” when my parents where driving us home from the airport and I freaked out because I thought we were going to run into the truck that was in left lane coming towards us. (you drive on the left side of the road in Kenya) It is also very unusual that there are not tons of people and animals walking along the side of the road and even in the middle of the road. 

Jeff's first time driving in almost a year!

•   Language/Accent… Ok, so people were always commenting on mine and Jeff’s southern accent while we were in Kenya. It is so strange to not hear the Kenyan accent anymore, but instead to be surrounded by country accents again. I mean, the preacher in church said “dag-gone” last week and I almost laughed out loud. It’s also weird to not be hearing and using Swahili words anymore. I have found myself on more than one occasion saying “pole” (sorry) when I bumped in to someone and “asante” (thank you) to the cashier or server.

• People here like their “bubble”… I had forgotten how much we Americans like our personal space. This was not the case in Kenya, as we had gotten very used to crowded spaces and greeting everyone with some sort of touch. If you passed a stranger it was perfectly normal to shake their hand. If you saw someone you knew, it almost always resulted in a hug and kisses on the cheeks. The first few days here, it felt so awkward to not shake hands or hug everyone that we saw, especially when we knew them. I had to remember that most of the time a simple, “Hey, how are you?” is culturally appropriate here. 

• Life here can be super complicated… It probably doesn’t help that I’m pregnant, but I have found trying to get re-established here to be very stressful. It took us several hours to get cell phones and numbers again, as opposed to just a few minutes in Kenya. Trying to get insurance was also very difficult and a two or three day event. Getting a prenatal appointment with the doctor I wanted resulted in me having a meltdown with the poor lady on the other end of the phone. We live in a great country with a lot of luxuries, but I do think there are advantages to the more “simple life” that we had grown accustomed to. 

• Public restrooms galore… Wow! Everywhere you go there is a restroom, and most of them are very nice. They even have their own toilet paper so that I don’t have to carry it in my purse anymore! Most of them have hot water and even soap! They have actual toilets, as opposed to a hole in the ground! Don’t get me wrong, there were some nice restrooms in Kenya, but we no longer have to wonder when the next available restroom will be or worry about the shape it will be in.

• American children are not like Kenyan children… This is especially challenging for me, since I work with children. Just as I had to get used to the differences when we moved to Kenya, I will now be getting used to American children again. It’s hard to explain, but they are just very different and I love them both. One thing’s for sure, I will no longer hear children screaming “Mzungu!” (white person) when they see us and loving for us to wave at them or shake their hands. At least I will be able to easily speak the right language with kids now!

Going to miss smiling faces like these. 

•   Everyone here thinks we have Ebola! This has perhaps been the most hilarious and the most frustrating, depending on the mood and situation, thing that we have experienced being back. Whether it is a complete stranger, or even friends and family, no one wants much to do with you once they find out you have been in Africa. I don't know why I haven’t caught on by now, but I keep getting shocked every time it happens. I have had people who literally had their hand out to shake mine during an introduction, just to pull it back in when they found out we had been in Africa. I had to call the receptionist at my ob-gyn at least 10 times before getting an appointment, and finally they admitted that it was because they were worried that I might have Ebola. They are making me wait until November to have my first prenatal exam. It does not even help to try and explain that Ebola is on the other side of Africa or that we have had no cases in Kenya. People will believe what they want to believe, and we will just try to laugh it off as best we can. 

Well that is at least a glimpse of what our life has been like since returning to the states. A huge praise to an answered prayer, Jeff has found a wonderful job and started this week! He is very excited. Please continue to pray for us as we adjust to this new chapter of our lives. Pray that we will continue to process and reflect on our time in Kenya and that we will have wisdom and discernment in what God wants us to do now. Thanks again for following us on this journey and for all of your prayers and support. God bless!

Tascha

Something New

We’re back! Our time in Kenya has been great and we would still be there, but God has opened the door for our early return. A couple months ago, we found out that Tascha was pregnant! This is our first child and we are very excited! She is roughly 10 weeks and mamma and baby Fyke are doing well. After our initial shock and excitement, I (like most new dads) shifted into provider mode and started looking for a job back in the States. I am currently talking with a few churches and am at the point where we need to meet in person. Tascha and I are very excited about our new addition to our family and for what God has in store for us in this new chapter of our lives. 

I want to personally thank all of you who have partnered with us financially, in prayer and by sending donations. Tascha and I know that we will continue to be involved in missions, but we won’t be returning to Kenya just yet. With that said, we would still love for all of you to continue to support what God is doing in Kenya! Dan and Dana Jacobs (www.wgm.org/jacobs) and April Hershberger (www.wgm.org/hershberger) are two missionaries that we worked with at the AGC Baby Centre. Check out their webpages and please pray about ways you can support them. In our next newsletter, which comes out next month, we will give a more in-depth recap of our time here in Kenya as well as more information about the Jacobs and April. 

Jacobs Family

April Hershberger

God is so good! He has blessed our time here in Kenya and we eagerly await what He has in store in this next leg of our journey. Please let us know if you would like to meet for coffee of something and hear about the ministries we have been a part of and what God is doing in Kenya!

Our Kenyan Anniversary

This past Thursday Jeff and I celebrated 4 years of marriage. We wanted to be intentional about taking some time to spend together and just enjoy each other’s company. We decided on lunch and some shopping, since we don’t go out after dark here. 

We hired a taxi to take us to the closest town. This is the way that we get around here because we do not have a car or our Kenyan driver’s licenses. We had the driver drop us off at the mall, which consists of a couple of restaurants, a grocery store, and some other shops. 

We had lunch at an asian restaurant and it was very delicious. The place is actually quite nice, but they were in the process of installing windows so it was rather loud. We still had a great time and are used to such inconveniences, this is Africa after all. Oh, and we are pretty sure that the place uses the Fruit of the Loom logo??

After lunch, I went to the choo (restroom) and was so excited to see toilet paper provided that I just had to take a picture. I didn’t even have to pay for the toilet paper! It is not common to have toilet paper provided in the restrooms here, so I usually carry some in my purse.

Our next stop was the grocery store. It is the closest thing to a Walmart here and we can actually find almost anything we could want there (if you are willing to pay much more than you would in the states to get the types of things we are used to eating/using). For example, I was really wanting to get a nice soft towel to use (ours are stiff and rough here from the way we do the laundry), but Jeff didn’t think we should spend $20 on a towel! And I don’t blame him! We had a nice stroll through the store, just taking our time and discovering new items. If you know me well, you know that I love going to Walmart and just taking my time, so it was very enjoyable. 

We then went to the other restaurant that is in the mall for dessert. We splurged on Cookie Sundaes and they were so yummy! We spent time talking and laughing and just relaxing together. Then it was time to call our driver to take us back home. We ended our night with cookies for dinner and a movie. 

So it was not exactly what our past anniversaries in the states have looked like. We didn’t go out to dinner and a movie (because the closest theater is hours away, and dinnertime here is after dark). We didn’t go stay at a fancy hotel, or go to a Braves game and Six Flags (which is what we did for our first three anniversaries), but we had a great day spent together and that is what matters.

We love our life here and wouldn’t trade this experience for anything. We are thankful that God has given us 4 wonderful years of marriage and we look forward to many more! Our life together has certainly been a crazy and amazing journey so far and we are excited to see what the next chapter of our life will hold. Please join us in praying about what God would have us do next, as our time here is drawing closer and closer to an end. Thanks and God Bless!  - Tasch

Don't Let Your Past Dictate Your Future

This past week I have had the privilege to shoot a video for the Correctional Ministry here in Kenya. I had to opportunity to meet and interview not only the chaplains at the prisons, but also the staff and prisoners. God is doing amazing things through this ministry and lives are being transformed. 

I interviewed one prisoner (with the help of one of the chaplains) who had been greatly impacted by the Correctional Ministry in the prison. He told me that  

“When I came to prison, I saw that I had no hope at all. Through the preachings of the chaplains that have visited many times, I have come to know Jesus Christ as my personal Savior.” 

He went on to tell me his testimony which was powerful and then talked about his conviction for the lost.

 “I am very much concerned for the perishing souls. Since I’ve been saved, I have seen the Lord Jesus Christ working in my life…God healed me through the Lord Jesus Christ while in prison. From 2010 til now I have been preaching Jesus Christ because I have seen He has done great things in my life, He has changed me completely, He has healed my insanity, and I have been trying as much as possible to bring many many to Jesus Christ.” 

He concluded by giving a beautiful depiction of Salvation. 

“Because I have been saved, I have that inward feeling that I must reach the rest of those lost souls here…I share my testimony with the inmates and the staff in the aim that I must reach them also that they may come out darkness so they may become children of God.”

Prisons are not the happiest and brightest places, but on that day, when this man told his testimony and talked about his conviction, the light of God illuminated the prison compound. Just because someone may have a rough past, doesn't mean that God cant use them. Think about it.  Moses was a murderer, Noah was a drunk, and Paul (Saul) was a persecutor of Christians. Your past may be rough, but through the power of the cross, your future is bright through the power and blood of Jesus Christ. 

A Kenyan 4th of July

The other day was the 4th of July. I enjoyed seeing everyone back home all dressed in the red,

white, and blue. I enjoyed seeing the pictures of fireworks and the lake and the cookouts. We

did have a cookout of our own with our Baby Centre family, the missionaries and Kenyan staff

here, but it didn’t quite feel like the 4th of July without being in America. We did have a lovely

time together and some really great food. However, the thing I will remember about this 4th of

July really has nothing to do with Independence Day.

Friday, I said goodbye to a very special little boy who went home to be with his forever family. It

is always a beautiful experience to witness the adoption ceremonies here, but yesterday’s was

bittersweet. Here at the Baby Centre, it is customary for each of our babies to have a temporary

“mother” and “father” until their adoptive parent(s) come for them. The moms and dads are

sometimes caregivers, staff members, or missionaries. It just means that those people have a

little extra love for and attachment to that particular baby or babies. These people say a little

something at the adoption ceremony and “hand off” the child to the parent(s). Well, just weeks

after we arrived here, the caregivers started calling me mama to a precious little boy named

Philip. Friday I was able to witness and be a part of the joining together of his forever family.

As I watched Philip bonding with his parents all morning, I could not help but feel happy and

sad. So extremely happy that God had answered my prayers and brought him parents, but sad

that I would no longer get to see him and play with him each day. I tried to hold it together during

the ceremony, but as his parents were speaking about how happy they were to make him their

son, the tears began to flow. It was a beautiful moment. We always sing songs and the Baby

Centre “parents” will hold the child and then hand the child to their new parents, their forever

parents. When they placed Philip in my arms, I had to smile for him as I saw the huge smile on

his face. I wondered if he understood any of what was going on. Did he realize that his life was

completely changing? He now had a family and an exciting chapter of his life was beginning. I

cherished those last moments with him and gladly handed him to his smiling mommy and

daddy. His father looked at me and said thank you, and I knew what he meant by those two little

words. Thank you for loving my son until I could. Thank you for holding him and playing with him

until I could. Thank you for helping to take such good care of him. I knew that is what he meant.

I said thank you back and I hope that he knew that I was saying, Thank you for choosing to love

this child as your own. Thank you for coming for him. Thank you for giving him the family he

deserves. Then his father looked me in the eyes and said, “He is in good hands” as his mother

said, “We will love him very much.” And I knew they meant it. The three of them made a perfect

little family and you could tell how much they already loved each other.

When the ceremony was over, April (a missionary who has been here a while) looked at me and

said “It doesn’t get any easier.” This work God has called us to do here is not easy. Saying

goodbye to these children is hard. The caregivers, the staff, and the missionaries here are often

the first people to truly love these precious babies. It would be so much easier to not fall in love

with them, to keep your distance. But they deserve to be loved, God has called us to love them,

and I will choose to love them until God sends them a family to love them. So, I will endure the

heartache as they drive away with their forever families. Yes, it is sad not knowing if you will

ever see them again, but as I caught a glimpse of Philip’s smiling face through the car window

as he drove away to his new home, I could not help but smile too, knowing that everything we

are doing here at the Baby Centre is worth it. All of the hard work is to help join these families

together and to give God all of the glory for what He is doing in this place. 

I hope you all have a wonderful 4th of July holiday. This was one that I will never forget. !

Much love! Tascha

Hands of Love

“In His hands that bring us life, in His hands we come alive. In His hands, He's holding us!”

In Crowder’s “Hands of Love” we are reassured that the hands that hung the stars, the hands that bore the scars are the same hands that bring us life and these hands are holding us! The past few months Tascha and I have been immersed in orphan ministry. We have been serving at the Africa Gospel Church Baby Centre where the kids are our number one priority. The Baby Centre is not an orphanage or a children's home, but rather a rescue centre for orphaned and abandoned babies. The goal is to be the hands of Christ to these babies until they are adopted into forever families. Tascha has been spending a ton of time in the three wings working with the kids and loving them unconditionally. My ministry here at the Baby Centre has been working on the new AGC Baby Centre website and doing media. I also spend some time with the kids. For more information about the Baby Centre and to meet the kiddos here, visit our new website at www.agcbabycenter.org 

This past week, Tascha and I had the privilege of serving with the Least of These ministry (www.wgm.org/leastofthese). I had been asked to do a video for the ministry showing what they do and how you can get involved with it. This is an amazing ministry and Tascha and I are so blessed to have been able to be a part of it. I wont say too much about the ministry and let Robyn, Mwali and Anthony tell you about the Least of These in the video below. 

The Least of These Ministry 2014 from Jeff and Tascha Fyke on Vimeo.

No eye has seen, no ear has heard the depths of the love God has for us all. Our God is great and mighty and doesn't start caring for us when we are grown. In Matthew 19:14 it says Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”

These beautiful children, made in the image of God, are precious. God loves them, and has entrusted those at the AGC Baby Centre, the Least of These and many other organizations with their care. It is not a light responsibility and takes all that we have, but these little ones are worth our lives and more. They are the face of Christ and all we do for these, the least of these, we have done for Christ (Matt. 25:40). 

So I encourage you, pray for these ministries and get involved! You don’t have to physically be here in Kenya to touch the lives of these kids

Cornerstone

As many of you know, I love music, photography and videography. What many of you may not know is that in middle school and high school, I painted a lot with oils and also did quite a bit of chalk and oil pastel drawings. I love art and creating things. Whether it is depicting my rendition of something already in existence, or creating something totally original, I love spending time drawing, painting, taking pictures and shooting video. 

Spending hours editing video is not done purely for my own satisfaction, butI to convey a message. I feel God has gifted me in such a way that I can capture a story through my camera lens and depict it in such a way that people can connect with it when they see it. I take pride in my work, not that I am glorified, but that Christ alone is glorified. It is hard and tedious work, but I love it and it is what God has called me to do. 

The story of God begins with Him hard at work. He is the Author; the Creator; the Architect and the Builder. When finished, He rests to admire His work. God enjoys His work. This similar enjoyment we experience in both what we create and in the creating itself, is surely an echo of the image of God in us.

We want other people to enjoy that which we have enjoyed creating. We start our work with the end point in mind, spurring us on to completion.

Jesus is the foundation of our faith. He is the centerpiece of God’s story. He is the climactic depiction of the love of God, the One the whole story is pointing towards. He is also the starting point and the reference by which the rest of the story is written. Jesus is the cornerstone. I see this written on many buildings here in Kenya, including this one here at the Baby Centre. Jesus is recognized and declared as the Cornerstone. 

Just as the cornerstone was the first stone that was laid; the stone to which all the other stones are set and find their reference; so Jesus is the cornerstone for our lives. He is the centerpiece of our hope and the compass for all of our endeavors.

Imagine the enjoyment God takes as His story unfolds, as we are built brick by brick into His Church, fixed firmly on Jesus Christ Himself. What confidence we can take in building our lives on the very same foundation that God Himself has chosen for what He is building.

"Christ alone, Cornerstone. Weak made strong, in the Savior's love. Through the storm, He is Lord, Lord of All!" These lyrics from Hillsong Live's "Cornerstone" are powerful and ever so true! I have loved this song since I first heard it. By singing that Christ alone is our cornerstone, we are declaring that Jesus is the firmest of foundations. Jesus is the reference point for our worship and indeed for all that we have and all that we are. He is the One who holds all things together. Jesus Christ, my Cornerstone, is the One and only one I worship. I do that through the things I say, the way I act in public and in private, through my camera lens and through the things I say. Christ alone, Cornerstone. Firm Foundation, Savior and Lord, forever and ever. 

“So now you Gentiles are no longer strangers and foreigners. You are citizens along with all of God's holy people. You are members of God's family. Together, we are His House, built on the foundation of the apostles and the prophets. And the cornerstone is Christ Jesus Himself." 

Ephesians 2:20 (NLT)